First sentences aren't really a battle of good against evil, but you can think of them that way. Like in the cartoons, there's a little devil on your left shoulder and an angel on your rights. The devil is whispering: write something really general, write something that everybody already knows, write something that you couldn't support with evidence in a million years; while the angel is whispering: write something really interesting about your actual topic that will hold your readers' interest through the critical three seconds when you will either gain or lose their attention. In the comments section, write a BAD first sentence and a GOOD one.
Devil said: I know you are very fond of money and possessions. In fact, everyone doesn't have to work very hard, you can get what you like by stealing, robbing and cheating. At this time, the angel is beside you to persuade you: Don't do this! I think possessions earned through hard work are the most rewarding. We cannot do things that violate the law and social morals. It's really enjoyable to learn and use resources to get what you want.
ReplyDeleteBad: People lose their lives everyday.
ReplyDeleteGood: A parent's worst nightmare is not being able to save their kid from painfully suffering from cancer.
Bad: Mosquitos are bad.
ReplyDeleteGood: Mosquito bites result in more than 1 million deaths globally each year.
Bad: I think you already know the significance of ocean conservation, but I just want to talk about it again. Good: An increasing number of human activities destroy the ocean and jeopardize homes for thousands of species.
ReplyDeleteBAD: Zooplankton and other small marine creatures eat phytoplankton and then become food for fish, crustaceans, and other larger species.
ReplyDeleteGOOD: Do you take your kids to school every morning? Well, here is something to consider before leaving the house...
The devil said: eating a bite can feel delicious and happy.
ReplyDeleteThe angle said: eating a bite of cake will increases the health burden.
The devil said: eating a bite of cake can feel delicious and happy.
DeleteAngle said: It takes 1 hour of running to digest a bite of cake.
Bad: Cold weathers are bad
ReplyDeleteGood: Exercising in winter may result in less inflammation and soreness than in the summer.
Bad: Running red lights is bad behavior
ReplyDeleteGood: Every day, at least two people die from running red lights in the U.S.
pique
ReplyDeleteBad: Choosing a vegan diet can help reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.
ReplyDeleteGood: Do you want to avoid death from cardiovascular disease and pain for your family?
Bad: Hungry children is none of your business
ReplyDeleteGood: Every child deserves a future, would you like to help one of them?
Winnie Ge
DeleteBad: Hurricanes are terrible. Good: Hurricanes are very catastrophic because it may cause damage to one's property, bring other potential storms, or even lead to severe casualties.
ReplyDeleteBad: Your wasting food everyday hurts people who went through famine.
ReplyDeleteGood: Saving food is a moral thing everyone should adhere to.
Bad: Drunk driving is bad.
ReplyDeleteGood: 29 people die every day in the US due to drunk driving, which means one death every 50 minutes.
Luyao Hu
DeleteBad: Hurting animals is bad.
ReplyDeleteGood: Every animal deserves a happy and comforting life.
An example of a bad first sentence would be “no matter what your attendance is required, and we want you to make a meaningful donation as well.” This is a bad sentence because it is not persuasive and appears to be rude to the audience. A good opening sentence would be “because of your esteemed representation and passional for social service, we would like to extend you an invite to support our foundation.” This statement focuses on grabbing the audience’s attention and lets the reader know why their presence would be special.
ReplyDeleteBad: A high stray cat population is bad.
ReplyDeleteGood: With measures such as TNR (trap, neuter, release), stray cat populations have been on the decline, and native prey populations are on the rise.
Bad: E-cigarettes do harm to people next to them through secondhand smoke
ReplyDeleteGood: According to the UK Health Service, e-cigarettes are 95 per cent safer than traditional tobacco cigarettes and are 1/1,000 levels compared to the toxicity of tobacco, so they have nothing to do with harm
Bad: Giannis Antetokounmpo is a good defender.
ReplyDeleteGood: Giannis Antetokounmpo is statistically the greatest transition and half-court defender in the history of the NBA and the history of basketball.
Bad: Eating raw chicken is bad.
ReplyDeleteGood: Raw chicken is contaminated with bacteria such as salmonella, which can cause food poisoning and illness if eaten war.